Father Dick At World Youth Day - In Wollongong Tonight

World Youth Day is just around the corner! I’m so excited I might ‘mess myself’ (thanks Jason). WYD is the largest youth event in the world. I can’t wait to see thousands of exuberant youngsters celebrate the spirit of Jesus alive in their hearts… AND TO GET DOWN AND BOOGIE-WOOGIE, YO!

It’s not just the kiddies who want in on WYD; every Priest in the country is dying to be involved. My fellow Parish Priest at St. Dominic’s, Fr. Leo, challenged me to a night of Guitar Hero, then a 3 day-long game of Risk; the winner going to WYD. Fr. Diz ain’t in the biz of bragging, but the Friday Night Youth Groupies know not to take on Dick or they’ll be-a-hurtin’. Fr. Dick goes 2 and 0! I rule this ‘SHIZNIT!’ (Thanks Timothy).

I hate to bring up a downer, but many of the kids from my Chill-Out Pad have asked about the protesters. Normally the dreary bore-soldiers who lead the Catholic Church don’t like to rec-o-nize dissers of our faith, saying it only fuels the burning bush (Exodus 3:4). However, Fr. Dizzle is no ordinary clergy member. I say bring it on ‘Loser Patrol!’ (Thanks Brody).

Those Prayer Haters, the ‘NoToPope Coalition’, ‘Atheists Sydney’ and others have been waxing lyrical about abortions, pro-choice and condoms. Well let me lay this track down: Abortion? More like abomination. Pro-choice? I chose to eternally keep my lance in my pants as do many other Christians; until they find someone special they want to call “They Baby Mumma” (Thanks Curt). Condoms? Don’t fool yourselves into thinking Christians are so sheltered we don’t even know what a condom is. Why, just last Friday Night at the Youth Group during my balloon animal shtick, I accidentally made one into a Giraffe. The kids thought it was ‘dope’ (thanks Hugh). Check it – how can “condoms save lives” if they stop lives from starting?

Back in the days of Saint Jesus, someone might be stoned for getting their rocks off! Get it? You will later. Anywho, nowadays these Nincompoops actually encourage off-rock-getting! That is not What Jesus Would Do. NoToPope but YesToPoop, that’s what they’re saying. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. (Good one Gregory).

The protesters say something about the Gays too, kind of a grey area though. It’s something we discuss a lot at the youth group. (Don’t worry Jeremy, you’re secret is safe with me).

Enough about the Papal protesters. WYD needs to be celebrated. The event is drawing more people than the 2000 Olympics. (Fr. Dick went to see the Men’s Greco-Roman wrestling, gymnastics & diving). WYD is the most influential occasion for Catholic youths since The Passion of the Christ. Personally I haven’t anticipated something this much since Hanson’s latest album release! That’s right, you read it correctly, a man of the cloth listening to the hippest of hippity-hop pop music! For the uninitiated, that’s just how we roll here at St. Dominic’s. (Thanks William).

Heads up to any St. Dominic’s parishioners, I’m giving lifts up to Sydney. So anyone who wants the ride the Dickmobile, jump on quick!